Phrases & Phases

Many families have their own secret languages they speak in. Often endearing terms formulated over years of being with one another. Zane has tried to start such a language between him and me since moving in, but it hasn't really taken root yet.

I try to tell my girlfriends this problem, but they just think it's "so sweet" and "wish they had a boyfriend so thoughtful". Who are they to know? They just like that when they come to visit Zane braids their hair and paints their toes like was agreed upon in exchange for me temporarily storing his clothes, video games, etc.

For example...

In my family, when we have a cold and don't want to spread germs but want to show our love, we smack arms with each other. Over the course of time, this has evolved into saying "wappa wappa" i.e. the sound of arms hitting.

In my new apartment, Zane has been known to randomly punch me in the face while he sleeps. He has affectionately termed this "rocket arm".

In my family, my father wanted to give Neil a really strong nickname as a child. He went through some variations, (Moose, SuperNerd, Willow) but eventually settled on "Boog" I believe after baseball player Boog Powell. I like to think it's after booger.

In my new apartment, Zane now calls me "One" as in "the One" due to contractual agreements. I have thus decided to call him "Two".

In my family, my kindergarten teacher called up my mother with concern over what I was referring to in class as her "bunny pajamas." Jumping to the worst conclusions, Mrs. Low thought Mom was parading around the living room on a regular basis in Hugh Hefner approved apparel. While true for the occassional Sunday, this time was only a reference to her floor-length non-sexy flannel nightgown with a rabbit on the front.

In my new apartment, the newness has worn off and Zane sees it fit to revert to his most casual of outfits. I don't know why he insisted we move box upon box of clothes for him when now the only thing he wears everyday are his slightly too small "footie pajamas." It has become an embarassing issue at the grocery store, and the local V.F.W. hall has banned his innappropriate, 2 foot high wedgie from about a dozen locations in Astoria. I share my embarassment with you below. (First with us celebrating Christmas, followed by last Thursday, making pancakes, and then lastly this morning when I told him I was submitting his name for the Amazing Race.)