Being around your significant other everyday means that you are bound to see them at their worst. Although for me, my worst comes around every couple of hours. It has been comforting to find that Julie knows just how deal with me, whatever illness I may have. At the first sign of symptoms she's right there to make me feel better. Whether it's blowing cigar smoke in my face when I'm feeling the onset of a soar throat, or whipping up her patented "Tummy feel better ok? Shake" a mix of yogurt, iced cream, orange juice, with a dash of Rohypnol. She has the cure for what ails me.
Strangely enough though when she gets sick the only real remedy seems to be for me to leave her alone. Something about me being around seems to worsen her symptoms. It has gotten to the point where whenever she sneezes I begin to put on my jacket out of reflex. I am starting to think that she may be allergic to me or perhaps my dander. Try as I may, my home remedies tend to have adverse effects. Last time Julie had a fever I came up with the idea to fill the bed with ice while she was sleeping, suffice to say she didn't appreciate my effort.
Worst of all, I think my stomach has been a bad influence on Julie's. For most of my life my stomach has been notoriously evil, constantly getting upset for no reason whatsoever. The logic of my stomach being: eating an entire pound cake + KFC famous chicken bowl + a healthy coating of Red Devil hot sauce over everything = a good time. Whereas something as simple as: One too many Olive Garden bread sticks = me having a sleepless night clutching my stomach. I will have to find some way to gag my stomach so that it can no longer talk to Julie's and spread it's evil, sadistic, propaganda.
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