A Time to Give Hanks

It is time once again to brave the crowded highways, face the impenetrable guilt trip set by family, and as always "remember your spirit". It is the same with every 4th Thursday of November; the American tradition of Thanksgiving. It is the one day a year (aside from Valentines Day, Halloween, Easter, Christmas and "All you can eat for $5 buffet Wednesdays" at Pizza Hut) where gorging oneself is not only expected, it's celebrated!

I personally do not celebrate Thanksgiving Day. While the theme of taking pause to be grateful is virtuous and undoubtedly necessary in our country, I find that the story in which this moral is wrapped in is anything but exemplary. I refuse to perpetuate this idea that the Pilgrims and NATIVE AMERICANS had a fair trade on this fateful day. As the story goes, or moreover should, the Pilgrims were new to the neighborhood and as a house warming gift the Indians taught them to grow corn and play Lacrosse. In return, the Pilgrims gave the Indians spices and invited all their family and friends over to live and party like teens at a parent-less house.

My family often celebrated the holiday in true historical fashion by finding a neighbor with a nice backyard and paying them pennies to hang out there for the evening, then as a sign of good faith give them the unwashed comfort blanket of which ever family member had the worst cold that year. After the first year we modified the tradition to sharing a meal with police officers to commemorate our group arrest for trespassing that first year.

While it wouldn't be right to spend the holiday like an average Thursday: eating a pint of ice cream while watching the Lifetime Movie Network, I devised my own holiday a few years back. Rather than celebrating the beginnings of US history with it's racially exploitative impinging and incessant hand-turkey art in Thanksgiving Day, I celebrate the career of a man who has brought nothing but joy and appreciation to the entire world with T.Hanks Giving Day!

On the 4h Thursday of November family and friends worldwide gather around to give one another their favorite Tom Hanks movie. From Philadelphia to Turner and Hooch every one of his movies comes with deep lessons about how we should be thankful for what we have. With BIG, we see that while adulthood comes with many great responsibilities, but it also has its perks; like living in apartments unnaturally huge for New York City and being able to nail broads. Toy Story, with it's message that even old things have some use; and Saving Private Ryan, where we are taught that Hitler sucked. Every T.Hanks Giving evening is sure to leave you and yours with a smile on your face and appreciation in your heart.

What better way to say thanks, than to have Tom Hanks say it for you!

HAPPY T.HANKS GIVING DAY!