Stately Rivalry

There are things that sprout up when dating someone that would be considered "deal breakers". While Julie claims that no such thing exists, not with me at least, there is one big factoid that has been nagging at the back of my mind like a Julie. Sports rivalries between Massachusetts and New York are nothing new, and as some of you may know, Julie was born a Masshole and comes from a long line of Massholes. As such, there lends a lot of rivalry possibilities: Red Sox - Yankees, Red Sox - Mets (Holla '86!), Knicks - Anyone able to hold a basketball really (so Celtics by default). There is but one rivalry that actually means something to me, and that is the one between the New York Jets and the New England Patriots.

Allow me to emphasize, that I am a die-hard Jets fan; and that's saying something. Whether it's Vinny Testeverde's proficiency at throwing the ball to the defending team or their inane ability to lose all the games they should win and semi-visa-versa, or the fact that they've been through 5 head coaches in the past 10 years; loving the Jets is like pulling for a person to quit smoking cold turkey. There are countless "this is it!" moments with an inevitable fall back to the harsh unforgiving reality.

Living across enemy lines hasn't been easy. I can't wear my Jets helmet out on the town, nor can I regale others with my favorite Tom Brady jokes in mixed company. Thankfully at the time of this writing my Jets lead the division with a 3-0 record. Do not take that as gloating though, with one of their toughest games of the season coming this weekend I wouldn't want to say anything that could remotely be taken as jinxing.

Last week the rivalry extended from the 100 yard fields to the 3 yard couch. With the Jets playing Tennessee the same time the Patriots faced off against Atlanta, the battle was just as much over the pigskin as it was the remote. What resulted was a person with ADHD's dream. My thumb firmly held to the "last" button I blindly directed the focus of the day's double-header. While I thought the Patriots-Falcons game would be a wash, it actually proved to be a much more pleasant experience for Crunchberry & Co. A few weeks this season the Jets and the Poops... oh I mean Pats... no I don't... what was I talking about? Oh right, in a few select weeks this season The Shats will be playing games at the same time on a different network. As some great cosmic gift, it somehow works out that if New England isn't playing they choose to air the Jets game.

Last Obama-mas (or Omas for short) Julie tested the waters of my seriousness with gifts that ran the gambit of our territorial allegiances. The first gift I was bestowed with was a homemade #1 Patriots Fan Jersey. While my immediate reaction to a Patriots Jerseys is "FIRE", this one reeked with all sorts of "emotional attachment": meaning, "fire proof" until the onset of a break up or the wearer revealing them-self to be a witch. On the other side of things though, she did get me great tickets to the last Jets game of the season. A momentous occasion to anyone who actually liked having Brett Favre and (coach) Eric Mangini on Gang Green.

All-in-all our war has been civil. Having my team in first place and plenty of callouses to losing from over the years, I am quite impervious to these people and their pride. Patriots fans are new to this whole "losing" thing, so while I refrain from rubbing it in their faces, I continue to hold out hope that the tide has finally turned for the next few decades. Now if only Julie can stop making "Dirty Sanchez" jokes.