Let It Burn

One of the greatest additions to our lives in moving North has been the spaces designated for burning stuff. Our choices are not limited either! Not only can memories of lovers past be burnt asunder in the living room fireplace, but literature of questionable taste can perish outside in the massive fire pit as well! The question now is not so much "how do I build a good fire?" but rather "what else can we set on fire?" Old furniture, treadmill boxes, girly magazines have all met their fate in our fire pits (or Flame Arenas as my roadside advertisements would call them).

Now before all you crunchy readers out there shun us for driving the planet ever closer to global meltdown, just check out all the fiery glory!

"What on earth is that wooden structure that has me completely captivated?" you ask. Well, it happens to be the former frame of a cheap, Swedish couch that met an untimely, albeit expected, end just a month ago. Piece by piece the joints of the frame began to separate until one fateful evening when it finally gave in. Julie accompanied S-Dub and Balls of Neil on the couch for some quality Food Network Challenge when they were joined by everyone's favorite bi-eye colored pup Allie-gator. It wasn't long before Julie realized that she had just been the recipient of a canine shart attack, when everyone burst into uproarious laughter. Frightened by the strange behavior of us semi-hairless bipeds, Allie scurried off the couch. After a frantic bound, the couch creaked one final death rattle before giving way to its complete implosion on the unsuspecting Whitehots.

It was a bitter sweet farewell to a couch that has served many well in its single year of life, but we had been prepared to move on to a more "grown up" couch anyway. While burning household objects is fun, it has been the experimenting with various woods that has really made it enjoyable. We spare no expense in finding the sweetest smelling wood to fill the house with, even if the tree is technically on the neighbor's property. Still, there is nothing more pleasurable than the warm loving embrace of 6C10H15O7 + Heat!