Couples Survey!

Having been together long enough to feel we actually know each other, Julie felt it was time to put Zane to the test. And we both did surprisingly well! Completing our surveys separately and then only combining them for the post, we find we have many similarities. Julie enjoys the "he said/she said" of certain memorable moments in their courtship. When asked if he enjoyed recounting how they fell in love, Zane replied that it still feels like he's falling.

So here are our results!

Zane & Julie

In The Beginning….

Where we met:

Astoria, NY outside the Beer Garden.

Technically it was at a bar, even though it was outside on the sidewalk.

How we met:

At the birthday party of a mutual friend (a soon-to-be roommate of mine) I was the only party guest to arrive on time. In an effort to get his party underway, birthday boy Jimmy James called up his friend “Julie” who was already attending another party and asked her to ditch that one and come to a much more fateful and entertaining celebration.

I was at another party and was going to show up fashionably late to my friend James’ birthday party. I got a text message from James that only 1 person showed up and to get over there, so I left the first party and went around the corner to the Beer Garden. The Beer Garden is an open air, closed in bar with community picnic tables and awesome ambiance. As I walked up the street, I saw James and this really cute guy standing next to him and my first thought was “Crap.” See, I had just re-entered the dating scene and had gone on a handful of dates with a couple of James’ other friends. I knew I was going to get flack from James because I could tell already that I wanted to date this cute scruffy looking fellow. For some reason I decided to be really ballsy and just lay my cards out up front and beat James to the punch. So my first legit words to Zane were, “Hi my name’s Julie, want to make out now and get it over with?” I know, totally forward! I didn’t even think he would go out with me because he was so cute! Luckily, in his stunned state he was able to sassily reply, “I don’t think I’m close enough friends with James yet.” Good looks AND wit, I had to get to know this guy.

What attracted you to each other:

Aside from being cute and bubbly, Julie was, what the chauvinistic world of male bonding would call “a firecracker”.

His sense of humor was so on par with mine. We sat across the table from each other surrounded by other people and were just joking with each other the entire party.

How long before you went out:

After the Beer Garden portion was over, I decided the other girls in the group were so flighty and annoying that I would rather go home. I could see in Zane’s eyes both “Aww too bad, I like you.” and “No! Don’t leave me with these other girls!” Either way, I went home and found him on Facebook and we were friends by the next day. We ended up at another gathering of James’ and got to get to know each other more. We started talking online a couple weeks later and then had our official first date a week afterward.

It was about a month before we began hanging out but once we did we spent every day together sans a few here and there.

First Date…

When:

Late July 2008.

July 29, 2008

Where:

From Union Square to Brooklyn Bridge and back.

Touring all of Manhattan.

Who asked who:

I think I asked Zane to show me around the city because he knew it way better than me. But I told him to figure out where we’d go.

It was Julie’s idea, my plan. I was hardly forward enough to actually consider initiating anything. However I did not consider it a “date” per se at the time seeing as I wasn’t technically “available”.

Best part about the date:

Sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge with a box of Cheez-Its people watching. We would make bets as to how many fanny packs we’d see in 10 minutes, or bikes, or maps in people’s back pockets which just turned into us excitedly staring at strangers’ butts. It was just good clean fun.

We got all that getting to know you interviewing out of the way pretty quickly, leaving us free to tell inappropriate jokes. For hours we played the get-to-know-you game of "Two lies and a truth." We posed nearly every factoid about ourselves in the form of multiple choice questions and to this day I can't think of a single one that wasn't covered that first day.

Most nervous about:

Originally, I was most nervous that I wouldn’t recognize him. We had only seen each other a couple quick times and talked online the rest. We met in a really busy area and I had a panic attack that I would not recognize him. Luckily he came up to me, so I was saved from embarrassingly asking strangers “are you Zane?”

I was afraid I would run out of jokes or topics of conversation, leaving holes of awkwardness that often dominate my conversations with people I'm just getting to know.

Then I was nervous of how we would say goodnight. We laughed through the whole day and just kept finding excuses to not go home. It ended up being a 12 hour date and it was great! I knew I could listen to him chatter forever because as we sat on the park bench in Union Square, his deep voice made the park bench vibrate and it felt fun. We ended up just politely hugging goodbye, but I still got butterflies.

Who called whom first:

We never really talked on the phone. I must have called him first because he’s not really into talking on the phone. I know he instant messaged me first, but I secretly had his screen name on my buddy list for days beforehand and just coyly said “Who is this?” when Zane first wrote to me even though I was jumping up and down in my room.

Well I IMed her first though she had me on her friend list for about a week. When it came to literally “calling” one another I insisted she call me probably because she had farther to travel than I for our “date” than I did. That plus the fact that I am not really fond of making phone calls.

First Kiss…

When:

Way too long into the dating… August-ish?

After a wild day of painting her apartment.

Where:

The apartment that would one day become the inaugural setting of Hers and His.

Astoria, NY my apartment. After Zane came all the way from Brooklyn(about an hour train ride) just to help me paint my apartment.

Who kissed whom first:

Technically Zane. Though I wanted to.

While there was a great deal of teasing on both sides, I blame it on gravity.

I will always remember:

How it was oh so wrong, yet oh so right. Much like the rest of our relationship.

This was the night I learned Zane had a girlfriend. Tsk tsk Zane. He was breaking up with her that weekend and was trying to be a good boy until he was officially single. Don’t worry, they were on the outs… I think.

PS. Yes that relationship was all but officially over. With months of hardly any communication (despite my trying to make it work) and a plan to call things off once she returned to school, I was far from the promiscuous pig that the retelling of this story is making me out to be.

Saying the “L” word…

Who said it first:

I felt compelled to say it first. However, since Julie wanted to take it slow she discouraged me from saying it until the following evening.

We both danced around it forever, but Zane said it first. That is, after he told me “I glove shoes” to test the waters.

When:

I believe early September.

It was the same evening that we discovered that the bar next door from time to time would project movies on the brick wall in their outdoor patio. While we had to share a seat to both watch it. Nothing says “I love you” like watching Jaws on a roof.

Where:

On the awesome roof of my first Astoria apartment.

It was beautiful. We went up to the roof of Zane’s new Astoria apartment and watched the sunset over Manhattan. I think by the time he said he loved me it was nighttime though.

Your reaction:

Well seeing as I was the one who said it, my reaction was that of waiting for a response.

I got nervous but knew I had felt the same way towards him. I kept freaking out the more official we got, didn’t know if I was ready for a full blown relationship again. And I just knew deep down that once I was with Zane I would never be single again. J

First Trip…

When was it:

January 2009

Some time in January.

Where was it to:

Philly (my first trip with a boyfriend EVER!)

We went to Philly “the city of brotherly contempt” to visit my sister and have a reason to stay in a nice hotel.

Did you buy any souvenirs:

I hate that stuff. I think I took some toiletries.

We bought a few cheese steaks but couldn’t help eating them.

Have you been back together:

Yup, it’s where Zane’s sister and her husband live. Very nice in some areas, but I could never live there! Scary!

We went two more times. Once with my parents to celebrate “fake Christmas” with my sister Sub-Marenor and her husband Kev Run, and a second time to have dinner with them.

Tokens of affection…

First gift Zane gave Julie:

If you don’t count painting my apartment, I believe it is a mixed CD. It was awesome. He handed it to me and said, “Don’t read into this, I couldn’t find songs without the ‘L’ word in it. Imagine them saying ‘like’ instead.”

She expressed an affinity towards mix cds, so I gave her the first of a series of Z4J mix cds titled “Momma Bird XXX Buffet” named after our inside joke of eating food like a mother and baby bird. We have yet to share a meal like that mind you.

First gift Julie gave Zane:

A 2 foot by 3 foot painting of his favorite video game logo for his birthday. Yes, I painted it. And it was the Final Fantasy VII logo.

For my birthday Julie finger painted the logo of my favorite video game. An image that I’ve always planned on getting tattooed on my body. While the effort put in was above and beyond as is, the fact that she would celebrate my nerdy passion rather than discount it garnered some big √+'s

When was the last time you bought/received flowers:

Zane surprised me with a beautiful bouquet one day when I came home from work. The card says something like “Thanks for letting me move in.”

Given that we were out of town for Valentine’s Day I felt that flowers would be more of a hinderance so I waited until I officially moved in a week later to surprise Julie with a bouquet of “Thanks for letting me live in your apartment” flowers.

What did you do for Valentine’s Day:

We won a paid trip to Atlantic City that we decided to cash in on Febuary 14^th.

We went to Atlantic City on an all-expense paid trip we won at a fundraiser earlier in the year. It was the most ghetto vacation I have ever had and we laughed the whole way through. We were locked out of the room until midnight and then could not physically get in once the security guards let us, it took hours. Then the room was scary. Rusty water, no linens, half a roll of toilet paper. It was a man’s barely used condo that was lacking some much needed maid service. But we survived and had a blast. We both learned we hated gambling and tried to get as many free drinks as possible. It was love. Valentine’s night we tried to go to a nice place, couldn’t afford their crazy prices, and then blew them off for some hole in the wall Mexican place at midnight. Best. Valentine’s. Ever. (for real)

Feast on this…

First meal Zane cooked for Julie:

While I tried numerous times to make nutritious/delicious meals to no avail I was successful a few times with “Extremely Creamy Chicken Alfredo” and my staple-mark “Chicken Cordon Bleu”.

A chicken and pasta dish? I may not remember the meal, but I remember the experience. Watching Zane cook is like watching a boy with ADD put out a fire. …is like watching a 3 ring circus on crack. …is like watching an octopus self combust.

First meal Julie cooked for Zane:

My mom’s Italian dressing marinated chicken grilled with apricot preserves on it. It was a hit and set up an all too high bar of my kitchen capabilities.

For some reason Julie got the idea that I loved quiche. I do have a passing enjoyment of mini quiches but would hardly describe myself as a “fan of quiche”. Unfortunately the sugary graham cracker pie-crust made it unpleasurable to even the biggest quiche fans.

Foods Julie introduced to Zane:

Homemade Turkey Chili.

Before her I probably never would have touched Squash.

Foods Zane introduced to Julie:

Homemade KFC chicken bowl.

The KFC Famous Chicken Bowls. While I don’t believe she has ever experienced one from KFC we have become quite enamored with our homemade version.

Nights at home…

Favorite meal:

My homemade Turkey Chili.

I love love love Julie’s Turkey chili. It’s always amazing and really inspires us to write a cookbook, even if it is somewhat of a simple recipe.

Favorite sweet:

Well being the son of a professional baker I think there are far too many for me to single out just one.

Cookie dough.

Favorite activity:

Watching documentaries.

Curling up with a good documentary.

Julie’s favorite ice cream:

Cookie Dough, though Reese’s flavor is often close.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Zane’s favorite ice cream:

Cookies and Cream….. or Mint Chocolate Chip

A mix of mint chocolate chip and cookies ‘n cream. Anything with solid chunks of Oreo and mint flavoring really cannot go wrong.

Out on the town…

Favorite restaurant:

Wendys? We don’t regularly go out to eat.

Watawa, for my money the greatest Sushi in New York.

Oh right! I LOVE Watawa!!! How could I have already forgotten?

Favorite dance club:

Club 13 in Union Square.

13, with three floors, one being a rooftop terrace it was always fun, even if drunk people would make out on our coats.

Favorite activity:

Just walking around exploring. Worked better in New York than the boonies. Now we just wander around Hannafords.

Adventuring aka wandering aimlessly leaving ourselves open to being confronted by all the oddities that populate our surroundings.

Finally…

Your favorite thing about your partner:

How compassionate he is. Zane is the most thoughtful and sweet man I’ve ever been with. I also love how he can get the both of us giggling for hours when we’re really supposed to be asleep. It feels like every night is a slumber party!

She’s funny. Not just looking, but like in stuff she says. Her cleverness and sharp wit are matched only by her devilish smile. She is the light of my life, if only she weren’t so bright that I’m likely going to be blind soon.