Massholes in Athol

As you all should know by now, Julie and myself have taken the blog north to Athol Massachusetts, if not then... well... surprise! We are now living in her parents' lake house on the edge of White Pond. It's a beautiful wooded area complete with chipmunks, robins, and a Walmart.

Going rural takes some big adjustments. For one there are no homeless people anymore, here they're just called locals. When people wave to you on the street they don't typically want to sell you something or have you take a survey but rather they want something completely different. What that something is I don't know, I've been able to avoid them thus far. Instead of car horns, daily life is filled with the sounds of these feathered creatures flying around honking. Instead of rooting for talented pro football teams like the New York Giants, people seem to root for some small local team called the Patriots. It's actually pretty cute really. But the one thing that is truly a shock are all the vampiric insects buzzing around. In New York we didn't have to worry about happening upon a family of spiders, or suiting up with anti-mosquito scent every time we step outside.

It's really quite absurd, this place is just overrun with animals. I'm not talking the cute little fluffy ones that stick out of coach bags, but slippery, chirping, scurrying, confrontational ones. Just last night I awoke to a clutter of noises emanating from the ceiling directly above me. It could only be described as squirrels playing soccer with an lug nut. The real tip off were the high pitched chanting of "Olay olay olay" and the subsequent riot that proceeded a particularly wicked knock.

Above all this place is very friendly. Shop-keeps are actually pleased to help you, cars let pedestrians cross and traffic pass, and no one looks like they are absolutely miserable with their life for no reason. Moving up here has been more than a literal breath of fresh air. Now I just hope I can live here for a while before getting cabin fever. I saw a movie about it once Shawn from Boy Meets World and a bunch of college kids rent a cabin and then are attacked by a flesh eating virus, and there was that weird little blonde kid who flipped out and started doing gymnastics when he heard the word "pancakes". Terrible movie. They're making a sequel you know. I'll probably see it. F***ing Rider Strong.