Bust Poet

There once was a cat from Williamsburg...

Buster is a mysterious little fur face. He enjoys strings, cat towers, opening doors at 4 am, and crinkly tubes that make him feel invisible. Many wonder why he enjoys such things; well some of us believe he is trying to tell us.

On our small refrigerator (seriously, it is one step up from a college fridge) we have amassed a great deal of magnet poetry. For the longest time these little magnets have lain dorment. There are a few dirty phrases from when we first put the words on the fridge, but for the most part they have just been used for a little needed texture for the otherwise plain white appliance.

That is until it first caught Buster's eye a little over a month ago.

In the proceeding weeks Buster has managed to knock off more than 151 words. Eash carefully chosen to express his sick little imagination. Here, for your enjoyment, is Buster's unabridged first sonnet.

twirl with stupid

develop fall birthday career

happy quality

blue smell collect nature

woman option home can feded breakfast

page were challenging leader hat turn quiet

I love we

popsicle through under mom sun fun

storm dinner sing cocoon fat

here these boy excel slow inside baby which greeny me

remember experience basket sister on you the cry that lake meal

go away like or discover imagine strong spring

would heart collection

lake party fast but experience believe thunder were said

challengingful rocketr career

say tiger future baby

let as that very an

technology falling

his wish you friendship happy

through birthday develop grown-up mirror

are as her live

stupidest dinner time

inside some joy cocoon learning farm chair excel ask

explode courageously

the candle smell evening sports

come down love ear

big prepare were quiet

button year bird achieve

basket thud woman

gain dream feet

under how

summering

almost grass

Read into it however you like. Personally, I think it is detailing the epic struggle between the love of belly rubs and his fascination with the bathroom sink.

"The Greatest" Date Ever! Hot Date 4

This week we attempted the “Drive-In Movie for Two” while visiting my parents on Long Island.

Julie’s 12-Step Program to Having “The Greatest” Date Ever:

Step 1: Rent a movie entitled “The Greatest.”

Choosing just the right movie is always a struggle. After forcing Julie to watch Paranormal Activity and Ironman 2, it was only fair that I let this evening ride on the quality of a romantic _(fill in the blank)_. After a jog around the local Blockbuster, we were left with three options: Precious, Dear John, and The Greatest. Now, I know that Precious doesn’t really fit in with the aforementioned genre, and I’ve wanted to see it for quite some time, but I didn’t feel it had quite the romanticism that this night called for. Dear John is, from what I can tell, whole-heartedly a girly movie. Nothing about it tells me that I should watch it, nor have I ever trusted men named “Channing.” That left us with “The Greatest.” A seemingly unknown movie, it boasts a great cast and a touching premise. Only a fool would turn down a movie with the all-too-lovely Carey Mulligan in it.

Step 2: Make popcorn.

You should be wary though, as snacks can easily turn a “hot” date into a “Tums” date. Supplied with the plethora of junk food my parents kept laying about, we were all too eager to indulge in a fresh bag of Doritos. By the end of the movie I wasn’t feeling so inclined to embrace my love, but brace my stomach.

Step 3: Borrow a hammock.

If you don’t have a hammock of your own or friends who have trees, I suggest a blanket. Though not as “cuddle” prone, it will get the job done.

There is a near limitless range of ways this date can be done. In a car, on a sheet, in a hammock, under a tree, on a roof, in a bath, during a storm, in the attic, at the park, amongst livestock, in a graveyard, on a boat, under a bridge, really, I could go on.

Step 4: Find a flashlight.

Sure you could wing it, but I find that creepy things tend to come out at night; so appropriate lighting is a must (good luck enjoying the date now!).

Step 5: Assemble said hammock.

It isn’t necessary that one person does all the work while the other stand to the side taking pictures and accidentally shining the flash light in hers or his eyes, but really isn’t it just more fun that way?

Step 6: Gather supplies.

Step 7: Take pictures with help from your mother-in-law.

Because memories aren’t made, they’re captured.

Step 8: Kick out your mother-in-law.

Even if she was sure the hammock could fit three.

Step 9: Cuddle up in hammock together.

It was a bit weird figuring out how to situate all of our stuff, but once we got it down, it worked. Normally we’d be next to each other or leaning against one another during movie viewing, but this really wrapped us up into a little love cocoon.

For the snugglingly inept, hammocks are a great way to learn how to lie together. As anyone who has ever sat in a hammock with a parent or an enemy will tell you, the only way to share a hammock is to cuddle, any other situation will leave you wanting to… well, leave.

Step 10: Watch “The Greatest” movie and think it’s “The Pretty Goodest” movie you’ve seen in a while.

Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Carey Mulligan. Nudity, Sadness and Heart-Warming Gladness, this movie has it all.

I particularly liked the movie, without delving into a movie review I can say that it strikes all the chords of the emotional spectrum and really leaves you appreciating the ones close to you. Without spoiling too much, I will say don’t watch this in a car like the original date idea entails.

Oh, and as Julie mentioned “Carey Mulligan. Nudity,” so there you go.

Step 11: Enjoy the fresh air and cool night breeze under the stars.

It was beautiful and romantic and if it weren’t for the fact that we didn’t have a warm enough blanket and it was 2am, we would have spent longer out there just visiting.

Chilly weather and upset stomachs aside; when the movie was done I was ready to go curl up some more! In a corner somewhere warm. With Julie spooning me and rubbing me with vapo-rub of course.

Step 12: Rate it.

J: Going into it, I thought this date was going to be pretty mundane. Yeah, we like watching movies, so why not do it in a hammock? But just that little twist made it fun and exciting and a little cliché. I recommend this date especially for city dwellers. Special thanks to Zane’s parents for lending us their backyard and hammock for the evening! It felt like a true escape from the busy city atmosphere. I give it a romantic 9.5 out of 10!

Z: With this idea being so versatile it could really go any way when you attempt it. It takes all the comfort and joy of sharing a cozy night in, with the excitement (and possible adventure) of doing something off-the-cuff. Whether you’ve just celebrated your 5+ anniversary or are on a first date, you really cannot go wrong with the classic date idea and this fun new spin! From our experience I would give it a 8 bug bites out of 10. As a flat out idea, I’d say it’s a 10 sure-fire hits out of 10.

Hers and His Drawn #2!

See the mind blowing issue at Hers-and-His.com

And the winner is...

...Really guys?

You still couldn't decide between Rock Climbing and Segways. Midnight hit and it was tied up again, which only means one thing....













We're doing both!!!!

Get ready for some hot trips to the emergency room as we navigate our way up rocks and down concrete.




To be continued...

Hot Date Week 3: Wholesale Yoga

Wholesale Yoga

J
What do you get when you mix 2 hung over daters and a waterside sculpture garden? Apparently, inner peace. This week Zane and I participated in free Saturday morning yoga in a nearby sculpture garden in our city of Astoria. We stumbled upon it the week before while going on our monthly “free sample breakfast” at Costco. The two unlikely neighbors balanced our love for economy priced goods in mass quantity and the downward facing dog.

Z
The year-round sculpture garden showcases some of the most challenging and forward-thinking outdoor art in the city, or to put it less generously, a lot of strange crap. As a fan of marble sculptures I found it difficult to wrap my head about the complexities of the big grey square, or the car placed on a pedestal and painted gold to look like a trophy.

The park’s main attraction is the interactive art of people bringing their dogs to do what they do best; I feel it sums up the theme quite elegantly. Thankfully the park is large enough that it can easily accommodate a large Yoga group seeking peace of mind, without threat of laying on a piece of… art.

J
Showing up with mats in tow and the creases of our bed sheets still fresh on our faces, we again found ourselves not sure of what we were getting into. We came across two other women in the park laying out their yoga mats in the grass and decided to set up camp uncomfortably close to them in hopes they too were here for the class. Luckily they were, as were 50 other menopausal women and hippy hipsters alike.

They came in droves for what felt endless, with a sprinkling of men to probably pick up some new sex moves. P.S. The “Eagle” would probably land you in the hospital. No wonder they’re endangered.

Z
…but really who couldn’t use a little more flexibility here and there? Getting hot and limber would seem to be the only way to really kick off a steamy date. Then again, lying in a park amidst a sea of crunchy, new-wave women doesn’t really play well with those kinds of objectifying and lascivious intensions.

J
Eventually a woman arrived and greeted the mass of Zen seekers, she set up camp in front and began instructing us on breathing.

Part of me wished she was just some stranger who walked in off the street and saw people looking for a leader and an opportunity to touch strangers and not be questioned. But alas, credentials or not, she knew what she was doing and led us on a journey of self-awareness for an hour.

Z
Fending off a sore lower back and a light-headedness that could only be blamed on having sat through Sex and the City 2 the night before, I tried my best to be committed to the activity. Julie and I were no strangers to doing Yoga, however this was our first time doing it in public. Focused on not presenting myself as a newbie I may not have appeared as chipper as the other Yogis, since glancing at me reminded the instructor to tell the class they really should smile more.

I don’t know what it is about me and instructed physical activities, but there always comes a time when the instructor must manually adjust the way I’m doing something. During ballroom dancing the man grabbed my face from behind, and on this occasion I had my hands stepped on to teach me to be the best downward facing dog I can be.

J
Legs bent, heads flush with the rush of blood, my arms arched in ways I don’t think they were intended, yoga to me was a task of endurance rather than relaxation. My favorite pose was lying at the end and “reflecting.” I could reflect all day, in fact I think I’ve become somewhat of a reflective expert. By the end though, I felt very stretched out and ready for the day. Watching Zane wobble beside me as I struggled to keep my “tray table” up and my “seat” in its full, upright position made me feel better.

Z
It should be noted, Yoga is not for the faint of heart. Seriously, there was one position that we were told anyone with high blood pressure or bulging disks should sit out from. The affects of Yoga are very relaxing, though the road to get there is fraught with bends and balancing acts that will not come easy to some. Often, I found my leg trembling beneath me as I tried to maintain a calming, one-legged pose. Needless to say, I could definitely use more physical activities in my day-to-day life, but given the fact that I don’t consider myself really to be out of shape, it should come as a warning to anyone overlooking the face that it is technically “exercise.”

J
I never realized yoga came with its own Grey’s Anatomy of definitions; here are some of the parts of my body I worked today that I didn’t even know existed:
“Sit Bones”
“Belly Button Muscles”
“Warrior Legs”

Z
I could have sworn it was all a ploy to get us to be models for some artist hiding in the bushes crafting little figurines out of macaroni and pine needles.

Before long the lesson was nearing its end. Right away I noticed that the sore lower-back I had been suffering from all morning was gone, completely. Before we were to be sent on our way, the instructor stressed the importance of a relaxation period. Despite the start of some light sprinkling of rain all in attendance stayed. Given the option of either sitting up in with legs crossed or lying down we made the all too simple choice and assumed the position I like to call “The Nap.”

J
Once the class ended and we finally woke up for the day, we wobbled our tired warrior legs next door to do a more familiar exercise: scoring free samples.

Costco is great for those with large families or an unhealthy interest in mayonnaise. Being just the two of us with an “apartment sized” a.k.a. elfish fridge, we only buy the long-term necessities here. Soap, Shampoo, Tostitos Queso dip. We pride ourselves on never using a carriage and only buying what can be carried in our warrior arms. This limits the cost of our trips to under $100 typically. This Saturday, we really didn’t want to buy anything, but couldn’t help but go for the loaf of garlic bread for $3.47.

Namaste.

Z
It was too bad the samples didn’t come out until after 11, because it made us look like creepy sample fans, camping out an hour early to get the first taste of next season’s Chex Mix.

J
The sample stations were just being set up, so we did a couple loops and scored some cashew clusters. In terms of samples, this Costco trip rated a 2. Last time we were here we had a full 12-course meal while lugging around a 10 lb box of tofu. Who says we aren’t Zen??

Julie’s Review:
This was a perfect way to start the weekend! Free yoga is available all over if you look closely enough, and the energy of the crowd is much more relaxed than a studio class. I loved it, and it was nice to walk out of the park calm and in touch with ourselves. Plus learning to open your hips can never hurt! I give this date a 9.8! The other .2 would be tacked on if Zane let me by the 20 lb flat of Costco cupcakes, but I digress.

Zane’s Review:
One might think that all this bending and stretching would make for a pretty hot date, however, in context it is not an instant hit for pairs. There is little, if any connectivity during the instructional session, and those of you who are worried about their image may find themselves in an awkward position, especially if you are not particularly coordinated. Negatives aside, Yoga is a fantastic practice that will make you feel wonderful. While it should become a weekly ritual for people to rejuvenate themselves, I feel it is better suited as an “appetizer” for the main date.

I would say this idea makes for 6 deep breaths out of 10

Introducing: Hers and His Drawn! #1

I am proud to bring to you the very first installment of the Hers and His Drawn. Being a passive comic book fan my whole life, I have always tried to piece together a functional comic. As crude as it may be, keep in mind this is my first real comic strip ever! This is just the beginning of a hilarious journey into and around the absurd.

To view the first installment CLICK HERE!

You may be thinking to yourself "Hey wait a minute! That linked me to hers-and-his.com!!" Well you're right, we just got it! We probably won't make the transition over any time soon though, it's just too easy using blogger.

FINAL VOTE!

Alright viewers, you have voted and your voices have been heard...

But we need you to make up your mind!!!!!

Rock Climbing and Riding Segways have been tied for the past few weeks. So it's going to come down to a lightning round. Which is it? You pick.

You can vote once per day every day but the POLLS CLOSE AT 11:59PM on MONDAY, JUNE 21st.

So pick your team, Edward or Jacob, I mean... Segway or Rock Climb!

**ONLY VOTE in this NEW poll, not the old!!!**

pollcode.com free polls

Which viewer's choice date do YOU want Zane and Julie to go on??

Team Segway Team Rock Climb

Paranormal Cativity

This past Saturday night, Zane and I decided to spice things up and add some excitement to the bedroom. And boy we did!


Not being a huge fan of scary movies [correction: really hating scary movies] I feel guilty keeping Zane from watching them and getting his kicks. So every once in a while I get the Tums ready and sit down for a night of crying. This is my definition of love.


Prior to this, Zane took the time to prep me to see The Crazies in theaters with a weeklong marathon of scary movies. Some of the classics were easy to digest and others, like Rosemary's Baby, were downright funny. With my blood pressure in check, I survived a 2 hour zombie flick with minimal peeing of my pants and only a couple eye coverings. Yay me.


Well, with all the hype about that Paranormal Activity flick, and having been told our bedroom was setup JUST like in the movie!! (Not a compliment to our design, but a warning of the terrors we would imagine.) We just HAD to indulge. [Correction: I didn't HAVE to do anything, but I owed it to Zane after he went to see Sex and the City 2 with me.] Damn you Carrie Bradshaw.


It started slowly and like a bad vacation video. Why do I care that this girl is being haunted? And why would she stay with such an insentive tool? I'd be scared too if I lived with that guy always video taping me. Oh? It gets scarier? Shoot.


So blah blah blah [no spoiler alerts!] it gets really freaky and I made Zane turn all the lights on in the apartment so I could make it through the end. Keep in mind, I thought it was scary and this is what it looked like about 90% of the time:

So after it was over and we were both cautiously moving about the apartment, making sure neither one of us spooked the other, I thought, "Eh, that wasn't so bad. I'm good, I'm good." We tucked ourselves in laughing about how spooked we had gotten and then---

BAM BAM BAM!!!

The lever to the closed door started flapping about crazily as if someone was forcing their way in. We both lept out of our skins and someone who shall remain nameless (but was not me) may have let out a cry that would make Hannah Montana look gruff. And THEN---

The door flew open in a big WHOOOOOSH!

And we SCREAMED!!!!!

And there sat little Buster, who had proudly watched us for months and chose THIS night to learn how to open the door all on his own!

El Sexo en la Ciudad

Despite my demeanor, sense of style, gravitation towards paisleys, and my mother's personal opinion, I am a man. It has occurred to me that as a man, there are a few things you must never do: Never ask for directions, never interact with the man at the urinal next to you, never let them see you cry, and above all else, never watch Sex in the City. Just when I thought I had this whole manhood thing nailed down, along came Julie.

Allow me, if you will, a little preemptive saving-face...

I love football, the gorier the horror movies the better, I have watched the entire Original Star Wars Trilogy (IV-VI of course) in one sitting, and... well... I am a complete nerd in nearly all respects (i.e. my last example). I wouldn't say I pride myself on my masculinity, as I find gender roles to be antiquated, and well, there isn't much to be proud of anyway. I always keep an open mind when it comes to movies and TV shows that are geared towards women. I never complain on Thursday nights when Julie puts on her Patrick Dempsey Snuggie and hunkers down for two-hours of "America's Funniest Hospital Workplace Sexual Harassment Suits", or better known as Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, even if my film school background tells me to avoid them like the plague.

For those of you who have never watched these shows, they revolve around the careers and romances (as if they're separated) of hot-shot surgeons. Along with mixing the sexual melting pot of Seattle Grace Hospital, the doctors of Grey's Anatomy are challenged with odd and miraculous medical situations. "These two people are connected by a giant pole jutting through them both... It's just like my relationship with my boss."

As it would happen, the bedroom drama rarely stays in the bedroom, since every time we are shown a surgery, someone is bound to bring up the latest gossip. I can't imagine the patients would want to know where their heart surgeons hands had been prior to the operation. Good thing they are unconscious, otherwise they would find out that their surgeon isn't even anti-bacterially fit to prepare them a salad.

Private Practice, on the other hand, tones down the promiscuity (and the surgery) in favor of emphasizing the emotion of each medical sleepover, making Grey's look like its loose, party-girl cousin. Oh, and PP adds more babies, so obviously it's geared a little more towards men...

As I peruse the pink velvet case containing all six seasons of Sex and the City, it appears to be some sort of text book on monogamy. I don't know when I enrolled into Julie's School for the Giftedly Committed, but somewhere between Engagement Rings 101 and the Art of Painting Baby Rooms, I realized my window of opportunity to assert my manly spin on the relationship had long since been boarded up.

I cannot clearly recall how I agreed to start watching Sex in the City, or how I agreed to watch it enough times to have finished the entire series, plus two movies. As if clouded in an Ambien-induced haze, my memory of these choices are conveniently vacant.

I can't say I relate to any of the characters, aside from maybe some of the poor saps who dated the psychotic Carrie Bradshaw.

Charlotte was the one I found most attractive through most of the series, that is until she became possessed by some catty, racist, baby-crazy demon in the later seasons.

Miranda, the snarky one, provides the all too important voice of reason, always in true "Debbie Downer" fashion. You would think I'd be drawn to her pasty complexion and Irish blood, however with beauty being skin-deep and all, I have known better for some time now.

When Samantha isn't spouting some overly corny line as set up for a plot-driven pun, she can be genuinely funny. She spouts a fair amount of decent jokes throughout the series. The problem I have is that when retelling said jokes to family and friends I rarely get the response I'm looking for, I guess "dick" jokes don't really work out of context.

And finally Carrie... I don't want to be mean so I'll end it at that.

The men that appeared did add a bit of intrigue for me as I love picking out obscure actors. Whether it was Jim Gaffigan as the guy who never closed the bathroom door, Craig Bierko as an overbearing Jazz Man, or the reoccurrence of the guy who played Dexter's Dad and Raiden, in the second Mortal Kombat movie.

However, solace in the male roles was reserved only for these guest stars, as many of the main characters were just as intolerable as their female counterparts. I start with Julie's favorite, the Neo-Hippie, Applebee's-Lovin' Aiden. When he isn't acting like some kitschy Alaskan Radio DJ, he whines over Carrie's lack of commitment. I mean really guy, really, is Carrie really some wonderful prize that you just must lock down? By the time his character was introduced in the fourth season Carrie hadn't shown to be any great "catch", so why were all these men fawning over her so readily? Right! It's a TV show, I almost forgot.

Perhaps I watched out of the joy I got from changing the audio track over to Spanish on a whim, or pausing the DVD when one of the women were making a particularly heinous facial expression. The likeliest reason of all, is that since this was an HBO show there was always a very good chance of seeing some boobies. The be all, end all of the television-watching decision making.

Looking back, I'm glad that I watched it. Giving Julie the joy of sharing however many hours of her favorite show (I'm too afraid to count) has given me the ultimate trump card in choosing what will now run endlessly in the Hers and His household (not counting the frightening movie-experience I misguidedly forced us into with Paranormal Activity, as you will read in our next post...).

It gives me great pleasure to finally say "Farewell Prada! Hello Adama!" On to Battlestar Galactica!

*Julie would like me to acknowledge that when charged with the task going to the window to pick up the pre-paid tickets to Sex and the City 2 by myself, I was appropriately defiant.

Hers & His' Next Round of Hot Dating!

"Exploring the Sunnyside of Life"

J:
This week, Zane and I wanted to pick a date that really resonated with us. We selected 7 Walks because going on walks has been something he and I have always enjoyed. It’s a great go-to date that begins as a simple thought, but turns into an adventure! Typically once a week we go out on a weeknight and just explore our neighborhood, breathe in the warm summer air and catch up on our week. Some days we don’t need to talk at all, just walking together hand in hand is enough to reconnect us as a couple.

Z:
When we’re not following cryptic craigslist ads, or making use of some “buy 3 get ½ for full price” coupon we are searching for some part of the city we have never explored before. Having lived here for six years in three boroughs, I have seen that there are both a lot of great sights to behold, and a tremendous amount of blocks yet to be explored.

J:
As avid “people watchers” one of the greatest things about walking, especially in NYC, is soaking in the culture of whatever neighborhood you’re in. Hipsters in the Lower East Side, wealthy chic folk in the Upper West Side, geriatric Grecians in our area of Astoria.

Z:
Seeing as we've been walking a combined total of 48 years now, walking dates never fail at being easy and fun. Our history of going on long pedestrian travels dates back to our third meeting.

J:
When Zane and I first met we were introduced by a mutual friend at a party. Right off the bat we hit it off intellectually and had a very similar sense of humor. We ran into each other once more before finding each other online to continue our modern day courtship. I’m still not sure if I asked him out or just convinced him to ask me out, but either way we found ourselves meeting up one warm summer day in Union Square, one of my favorite places in this city.

Z:
As a student at NYU I would take a long walk at the beginning of each semester, as a way of conditioning myself for the year to come. No matter what situation might arise where I had to forgo using public transportation, my legs would be prepared. These "Great Outdoor Walks" as they would come to be known were always done solo; they were in areas I had never been before, lasted several hours, taken without breaks, and were often spur of the moment. While our first date wasn't as epic as some of my previous endeavors (Such one from the upper east side, through central park to the west-side highway, then down to the eastern seaport totaling 200+ blocks) walking at a leisurely pace while getting to know Julie was much more enjoyable.

J:
The plan was just to meet up at noon and walk around the city, simple enough and great for two people who just wanted to get to know each other. I freaked out right before we met up because it had been weeks since our first chance meeting, would I remember what he looked like? Thankfully out of a sea of tourists came one cute familiar face eager with the possibilities of the day. We never set an end time to the date and thank goodness because our adventure swept us away and led us over half of the city – enjoying the market in Union Square, walking around NYU to learn about his college, exploring the less touristy areas with my own personal tour guide, eventually sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge for hours with some Cheez-Its and soda and playing a game we made up on the spot. How many cyclists pass us in 10 minutes? How many people with maps in their back pockets? Well that just turned into us checking out stranger’s butts.

We played getting to know you games, telling one truth and one lie about ourselves, making the other guess which was which. In the end, it was my best first date ever, and it was 12 hours later. We didn’t even end the date with a kiss, just a friendly hug, but I knew that butterfly feeling in me meant this was something greater than just a new friend.

Z:
Did I mention I didn’t know it was a date? At the time I wasn’t in the position to be looking for that kind of companionship, so when Julie and I had agreed to meet up it didn’t even occur to me that I might be inadvertently courting her. Having always gravitated toward female friends in the past, I didn't think much more of the outing than getting to know a new great friend. After twelve hours of hanging out, and tentative plans to see one another again in a day or so, it became clear to me that I just went on the best first date I ever had, without even realizing it.

It was probably for the best. Completely unabashed and not expecting any future romance I gladly laid all my cards on the table without nerves or care for how they may be perceived. While there is a lot of loaded advice out there on how to quell your nerves on a first date, none works better than going about it like you are meeting with someone who could be a good friend. It just happens to work out for me that I like girls who can tell a good dirty joke over those who have perfected their make-up/hair do.


J:
Did I mention he had a girlfriend at the time?

Anywho… Fast forward to today, Zane and I are making the most of our weekend, doing work all around the house, AC blasting. We’ve accomplished a lot, but what greater way to reconnect before the start of another hectic week than to go for a walk? And with friends.

Z:
On this weekend's outing Julie and I decided to make it a double date by accompanying our dear friends Jane and Melissa as they visited Queens looking for possible neighborhoods to move to. Their destination was an area called Sunnyside, which neighbors our town.

J:
Sometimes the greatest way to increase the love in your relationship is to surround yourself by other people you love. There’s no better chemistry than gathering with great friends and sharing in something you enjoy. So when given the opportunity to explore the unfamiliar neighborhood of Sunnyside, Queens with our friends Jane and Melissa, we jumped at the chance. They are in the browsing stage of looking for a new place to live and we were just feeling out the area and judging its good and bad qualities. (i.e. Margaritas)

Z:
Often times Julie and I walk around as though we are looking for apartments. After numerous moves over the past two years we have decided never to move again (at least not for five years or so). Still, we are constantly on the lookout for a real starter home, should we still be living here when a little bundle of torment enters our lives.

J:
Day dreaming about a potential future place to live is always fun and a great way to quickly find out what is important to your partner. Do you prefer brick to siding? Secluded or near a busy area? Is it private enough to have lots of naked time or do you plan to alienate your neighbors? I like being close to a park and then realized Zane’s definition of “park” was a little broader than mine. To me, a park is an area with grass you can hang in, to him a park could be an area with a basketball court. Just when you think you know a person… okay, so that’s not an extraordinary thing to learn, but it’s helpful in one day choosing a home.

Z:
Well excuse me, but my friend Apple Dictionary and I both seem to think that a park is “a large public green area in a town, used for recreation” shrubbery, or no shrubbery.

J:
Checking out the food scene in a new neighborhood is always fun. All four of us enjoy Mexican food and have forgotten great times had by all due to a few too many strong margaritas in the past. Sunnyside has a large amount of Mexican cuisine to choose from, so we ducked into a little place called Chips. The margaritas were strong, and the nachos were pretty decent. I’m kind of a nachos fiend, so they rated a 6 on my “Best Nachos Ever” scale. The best place ever is in Connecticut, but for New York City I haven’t found anything better than Blockhead’s yet. Mmm.

We even tried fried ice cream for the first time which was delicious and very refreshing considering it was a muggy 90 degrees out. But back to walking…

Z:
As we walked we sized up the neighborhood for our friends, the prospective tenants. As Julie was set from the get-go that this neighborhood was in no way comparable to our own it did yield some very nice features. Some of the more business-laden avenues were reminiscent of the best parts of Brooklyn, there were beautiful views of the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building just down the road, and some of the blocks were jaw-dropping (one in particular jumped to the top of my list in terms of future homes).

As with many nice strolls you can’t really say that much “happened.” We walked around, saw some nice buildings, noticed a few places we would like to eat at sometime, and caught up with great friends. There was one moment when we noticed a vast courtyard filled with trees and park benches (pictured, us on one of those benches). This large apartment complex practically housed a forest (by New Yorkers’ standards) that more than made up for the disappointment Julie had with the “Park” next door.

J:
The local meteorologists had predicted massive thunderstorms and even put us in a tornado watch for the day, so the skies were quite ominous. However, no tornado was keeping us from having a grand old time! Up and down many beautiful, tree-lined streets, looking into people’s windows, judging people’s decorating choices. It was fun just walking all over until we got lost, then quickly using Jane’s iPhone to orient ourselves. We even had some excitement as the wild winds ripped a decorative piece off the front of an apartment building and it came flying down from 3 stories above! Everyone was fine and we decided to meander in a less dodgy area.

Z:
It wasn’t long before the rain came. After all the Doppler readings showing massive amounts of red, and dark clouds threatening a downpour, we were a little disappointed when all we got were about ten minutes of light sprinkling. I suppose the silver lining to those clouds were that we could continue our walk in partial shade as this was the last day of what felt like a week-long heat wave.

J:
The date was very fun and enjoyable; we all chatted about the latest news, their foster dog Alvin (adoptable now on PetFinder.com), our new niece Matilda and everything else in between. And when the rains came, because of course they did, we just kept on walking. We laughed as we all got a bit wet, but eventually the storm passed and we all chalked it up to being “refreshed.” The key to a fun date is to take the unexpected in stride and come out the other side laughing.

In the end we were out for a good 4 hours walking and enjoying time together. If you are planning this for a first date, I highly recommend it. Pick an area neither one of you know and just get lost. Literally. Some of the places we stumbled upon were quite romantic. We trespassed into a very lovely courtyard of an apartment complex to take some photos. Don’t be afraid to pick a place to perch for a bit and just have some face to face time. It can be easier to talk to someone walking next to them, but to connect a bit more, make sure you get some eye contact in. And as Baz Luhrmann croons “Wear sunscreen.”

Zane’s Review:
Perhaps I am bias towards aimlessly wandering, but I think that casually strolling through a new part of town is about as good as it gets when it comes to simple, memorable, and inexpensive dates. Especially if you live in an urban area where there are a lot of little details you might normally overlook in your day-to-day life, walking can bring a new gratitude to the place in which you life. However, in the same respect, finding a new trail through nature could spark the same revitalization of appreciation.

Adventuring excites the imagination with all sorts of endless possibilities. Even for the more conservative dater who wishes to stay within her or his comfort zone and stick to the beaten path, wandering gives that feeling of being adventurous and outgoing. Just as long as you’re prepared to walk a few miles just to wind up where you started.

I give this date idea 10 “pairs of comfortable walking shoes” out of 10.

Julie’s review:
Happy times had by all. Tired feet and a small buzz from the margaritas. In terms of our first date of walking, the whole adventure would rate a 10. Today’s walk was a solid 8. It was a great adventure and a fun new area and great company, but I’m saving the higher numbers for some more out on a limb, adrenaline pumping activities. We stayed a little close to our comfort zone this time around and came out comfortably pleased.

My $345 Manicure by Julie

There once was a girl from... Mass.
Who finally kicked her nail-biting habit in the... butt,
After what felt like a year,
Her nails were long, lovely and clear,
And she was ready to give them some pizazz.

Off to Brooklyn she drove with delight,
To see her friend Jordan, and hang out for the night,
She looked all over to park,
And found a place just as it got dark,
Then walked to the spa in setting sun light.

The name of the place left them confused,
"Polish Nail Spa" the glowing sign mused,
Was it Polish the spoke?
Was this some sort of joke?
Or was it polish that the nail spa used?

The girls entered the salon at seven,
All the machines and chairs looked like heaven,
They waited forever,
Then were mani-pedi'd together,
And loved the work by the craftswomen.

The place locked its doors at nine,
But kept us to dry, saying it's fine,
We tried to hurry and go,
But they made the dryers continue to blow,
And at ten at night we finally left to dine.

With pretty fingers and toes we went to Lobo,
The guy waiting on us probably thought we were loco,
With delicate hands, and gauze on our feet,
Starving, we ordered a million things to eat,
And devoured a gallon of queso.

Rolling our way down the sidewalk,
We rubbed our full tummies and had girl talk,
I walked my friend to her door,
Told her we should do this more,
And set off to go get my car down the block.

I rounded the corner to find,
An empty space that once had been mine,
My car nowhere in sight,
I had quite the fright,
And then noticed the "No Parking" sign.

"NOOOOOOOO!" I screamed from where I stood,
I would have banged my head on my car if I could,
How stupid of me!
I wonder what's the fee?!
How will I get to work? Oh, this wasn't good.

The dinky little sign, that alerted me of my fine,
Had a phone number on one line,
Which I quickly called,
And a man slowly stalled,
Then told me I couldn't get my car until NINE!

With head hung low I walked back to Jordan's pad,
Who tried to make me feel not so bad,
She gave me some jammies,
Which softened my whammies,
And I texted goodnight to my lad.

When I woke I resolved it was a new day,
And put all my bad feelings away,
I hopped in a taxi,
And accepted THAT fee,
And with the help of an iPhone found the way.

The place was ghetto and shady,
Amidst car parts and refuse, there was a lady,
She went by the name "Red",
Probably 'cuz of her head,
Strictly business demanding I pay HER fee.

I walked to my poor impounded baby,
Would have hugged her if it didn't make me crazy,
She had been through a lot,
Then my eye was caught,
An orange ticket glowed from the wiperblade-y.

All I could do was L-O-L,
This night had turned into "Parking Fee Hell"
I got in my car,
Still had to drive quite far,
And oh, had to go to work as well.

Bumper to bumper I travelled the B.Q.E.
Laughing at how much this all would be,
I stopped by the house,
Changed into a clean blouse,
And tallied the numbers as I pulled into P3...

Nails for 30, Dinner 32,
23 for a cab - since I had to,
165 to the lot, 95 to the state,
Total: $345 but my nails look great!

Another gem from the Kitchen of Hers & His

Don't Forget to Vote!!!

We posted a poll in our June 2nd entry about joining HotDateIdeas.com and have asked YOU the reader to pick one of our dates!

You can still put your vote in!!! (Maximum one a day, but you can come back each day to stuff the ballot box!)

Currently it's a tie between Rock Climbing and Riding Segways... which I don't understand why an afternoon of knitting didn't make it to the top, but whatever. So BREAK THE TIE!! Or make Bingo Night the new leader! Or suggest something else and form a rally to gain support and make THAT the new winner!

Either way, scroll on down to June 2nd and place your vote now (and again in 24 hours)! We'll keep the polls open for another couple of weeks, so you've got time to get every one of your Facebook friends to visit our blog and make decisions about our lives.

YES YOU CAN!

Not-So-Dirty Dancing

The first of our "10 Weeks 10 Dates" guest blogging at HotDateIdeas.com


J:
When given the challenge of going on 10 dates in 10 weeks with my boyfriend of almost two years, Zane, I first thought “well at least it locks him down for another couple months” and secondly thought “what a perfect way to mix up our routine of just sitting in front of the television.” Now don’t get me wrong, we aren’t very boring people, but we do enjoy our comfort zone just fine the way it is. My idea of wild is going for sushi instead of pizza. Zane’s idea of romance is finding a video game for 2 players. We were in need of some hot dates.

Z:
Julie and I try to make a point of going out regularly on dates. Over the past year or so we have each had our struggles in finding jobs so we are deeply ingrained with ideals of being frugal. Often times we would consider walking down a favorite street or splurging on a particular kind of junk food to constitute a “date.” Anything to break up the weekly schedule of TV shows we are enslaved to.

J:
Being the initiator of most of our more daring outings, I instinctively started going through the site to pick and choose what I thought would be fun for us. Zane had agreed to participate in the 10 week challenge so he was at my mercy and couldn’t back out of something new to instead go see Marmaduke in IMAX. Ironically my biggest complaint in our relationship is that I’m always wearing the pants, but of course I’m the one who’s taking them out of Zane’s drawer and putting them on. Maybe this challenge would benefit from a little role reversal, which for most would mean the opposite, but for us means I have decided to become a woman! The first step to womanhood? Learning to follow a man’s lead…

Z:
For our first outing as HotDateIdeas correspondents, Julie and I sought out a simple and cheap idea that many would likely write off as being too far outside of her or his comfort zone. Ballroom dancing lessons.

J:
Dance class has always been intriguing to me, and it’s been tricky to find a way to justify us going without having some sort of looming reason *cough* wedding *cough* or just our biannual audition for Dancing with the Stars. I think deep down I was ready to pull my baby out of the corner and dance on a log with some hungry eyes. Little did I know our adventure would be less of a sexy Dirty Dancing and more of a virtuous Footloose.

Z:
Dancing is an activity that Julie has tried to coax out of me on numerous occasions to no avail. Apparently watching me do the dishes to “Ms. New Booty” isn’t enough excitement for her.

JZ:
Over the years, we have found that the single best resource for free stuff and events is somewhat unsurprisingly Craigslist.org. They have websites for almost every corner of the country and their murder rate has significantly decreased in the past couple of months, I think. Lo and behold they had all sorts of listings under classes, and sure enough, there was a free ballroom dance class.

Z:
Like animals and ottomans in the past, Julie took it upon herself to scour the ‘list and signed us up for our first “Hot Date” before alerting me. I had taken ballroom/salsa-dancing classes in college, as an unsuccessful attempt to meet ladies, so the idea wasn’t too off-putting to me.

J:
Now, if we had been a little wiser we should have signed up for a salsa class, it probably had a little more heat. Word to the wise, think about what type of vibe you want to get from your outing before signing up. Sexy passion? Salsa. Milkshake at the ice cream parlor? Ballroom. Shotgun wedding? Line dance.

A couple exchanged emails with the anonymous organizer and we were signed up for a hot free date at 1pm on a Sunday. Rawr.

Z:
According to the brief Craigslist description, and the vague dialogue between Julie and the mystery dance poster, we really had no idea what we would be in store for. For those of you who know us well (as in, has ever read our blog. Namely the post about our first year anniversary) you would know that we are gluttons for punishment. As someone who gave a bit too much consideration into the offerings of being a male model by some strange middle-aged man on the street, I don’t often look before I leap when attempting to make myself more adventurous. Fortunately for your incumbent date experts, our experience turned out rather wholesome this time around.

J:
The anxiety was high as we boarded a subway to go into the city to go to a building we never heard of before and partake in some brand new event. Was this going to be a tiny group gathering? Would we have to dance with other people? Were Bob Fosse and Martha Graham just trying to get us to their apartment to swing? We had no idea and that was half the fun/terror.

Z:
Seeing the Manhattan Center quelled some of our nerves, since it wasn’t some small dimly-lit apartment above a Laundromat but rather a large, fancy theater. As we passed an eclectic group of people exiting the elevator our imaginations began to run a little more rampant with much more grandiose imagery. Were we to be two of a few hapless suckers standing in the center of a giant classy ballroom while being barked at by a thickly accented man in a unitard?

J:
We entered the fancy building right near the famous Macy’s on 34th Street and road the elevator to the “Grand Ballroom.” It felt legit until we arrived and saw a very motley crew of folks sprinkled about a giant carpeted ballroom as burly crew men struck an elaborate multimedia set on a big stage. Uhhh?

Z:
Entering the ballroom struck us with feelings of awe and confusion as it was nothing like what we anticipated.

J:
I saw young girls in flip flops and no one seemed to be coordinating anything. Were we just bamboozled?

Z:
The herd meandering around could not accurately paint a clear picture as to what we were about to undergo. To the right, there was a concession stand displaying rows of stacked plastic cups, a single coffee canteen and a large cardboard billboard picturing a young boy looking upset. A massive stage was the focal point of the room with a baby grand piano and two large white projection screens. All around us were clusters of people musing over whatever great experience had just ended.

J:
After nervously wandering about (and secretly being relieved that we didn’t have to dance and could go home) I asked a security guard if this was supposed to be a ballroom dance class. He said yes, it hadn’t begun yet but we were indeed in the right place. Crap.

Z:
Were we here just in time for the dance portion of the “let’s feed the needy” convention? Why are some people eating pizza? Don’t you think that haggard little boy would like some pizza? As my mind flooded with trivial ponderings one man stepped forward to begin the show.

J:
A man came over the microphone to tell us it was time to begin. Eagerly Zane and I met eyes and then we were told to have ladies on one side, men on the other. Excuse me?

I began flashing back to 8th grade and standing against a wall at the school formal, hoping someone would ask me to dance. The room felt huge as I could barely see Zane’s facial expressions in the shadows of his face. Did he have “what the heck are we doing” eyes as well?? There was this sense that people sort of knew each other and the fancy event prior to class had yet to be explained, I saw Zane make a friend on the testosterone side, but the estrogen half seemed more occupied with which cute boy they’d get to waltz with.

Z:
Right off the bat the man explained how this was the last session before “graduation.” Without doing a thing we were commended on our great efforts and those of us truly striving to be all we can be may move ahead to try out for the competition. As with most things I chalked these somewhat odd remarks as me just not listening closely enough. He introduced who would be our instructor for the evening, his lovely talented daughter… from Harvard.

J:
This fatherly figure began to talk about the importance of dance and respect and gender roles. How his fancy dancer daughter is so great and how she’ll teach us to be great too.

Z:
As a senior at Harvard, she is one of the top dancers at the Harvard ballroom dancing team. Did you know ballroom dancing is the largest competitive club at Harvard, for Harvard students? Did I mention she goes to Harvard?

I was beginning to wonder whether this was the opening speech for a dance class or college orientation.

J:
He went on to tell how keeping distance is important and proper touch is key to a beautiful cooperative dance between a man and a woman. I remembered in 6th grade when we were taught square dancing (yes, I grew up in a hick town) how all the boys used it as an excuse to feel which girls were wearing bras and which ones didn’t need them yet. Agreed, proper touch and respect are key.

Z:
The operative word throughout the two and a half hour course was “respectful.” There is nothing wrong with being respectful, I respect Julie very much, but when looking for a hot date idea “respectful” isn’t often one of the words you’d typically punch into Google.

J:
He threw in some terms for organizations I wasn’t all too familiar with and then I started piecing it together. We WERE in the middle of Footloose.

Z:
Lo and behold we were amidst a youth group directly after their service. I can’t really tell whether being around teenagers, who have not been allowed to touch anyone of the opposite sex until now, sparked any flame between Julie and myself. In the eyes of most of our dance partners Julie and I were considered as two close friends or better yet… siblings.

J:
We learned some steps and then the boys had to pick a girl to practice with. It really felt like speed dating, but with a sexist vibe. Girls anxiously stood there while the men crossed the length of the room and politely asked “May I have this dance?” Was I allowed to say no? I could only think of poor Zane having to work the nerve up time and time again to ask some stranger to have her toes stepped on. If it weren’t for me approaching him in the first place, we wouldn’t be together today. (I’ll save that tale for another hot date blog) Maybe this wasn’t about me becoming a woman but both of us gaining more confidence. So in the end, Zane and I danced with a combined total of a dozen people.

Z:
I can’t say I really enjoyed pairing off with strangers. Not being a fan of chit chatting I labored through pleasantries of “Where are you from?” and “Why are you here?” It was nice seeing what stage different people were at; to go from an older woman who is incorporating moves they haven’t taught us yet, to dancing with a girl still audibly counting.

J:
We’d seek each other out partway through to compare notes and see each other’s progress. I’d give him inside scoop like we were FBI agents. “Pssst we’re in the middle of a church’s youth group.” Next time around “I think this girl is trying to convert me.” “Someone just asked if you were my brother!” “The group is only comprised of 18-21 year olds!” I’d learn something new each time my partner changed. Luckily I had no trouble being asked to dance. I was like a cougar compared to these boys. But it didn’t make it any less nerve wracking. I think I left sweaty palm imprints on everyone’s shirts and noticed a couple people wringing out their hands after my hearty handshake goodbye.

Z:
The thrill of the unknown did create some excitement during our date. As avid people watchers we were treated to a plethora of sights to nudge one another over. Leaving the center we were filled with stories of awkward moments and speculation about how it had all come to be.

J:
It was neat growing my skills a little with the help of strangers and then reconnecting with Zane and noticing such instantaneous improvements! We may have both been beginners, but by the end we were pretty darn good. We learned the Cha Cha first and the Waltz later on. The class lasted almost 2.5 hours and it was the biggest workout I’ve had in a while! After the Cha Cha I gave in and kicked off my heels and did the rest of the class barefoot like the tweens around me. In the end I was pooped but felt very accomplished. Zane and I had developed a new skill, and it felt like a new secret language of dance just between the two of us (and a few dozen Christian children).

Zane’s Review:
In terms of being a “hot date” I found that learning to dance (particularly ballroom dancing) is best for couples who have been together for a long time. Abiding by the rules, you are only allowed to dance with someone once before you take up another partner, so any couples looking for a fun “get to know you” activity should probably look elsewhere (unless of course they are looking to “get to know” other people). As an experienced couple, learning a skill together (together, meaning in the same room) is very beneficial.

You will be able to make eyes at one another from across the room, which can be romantic for some. For Julie and I, it was more of a “What is going on? Can you come over here?” Our experience may not have been particularly “hot” but it was a valuable afternoon that left us with the skills to spice up any party situations thereafter. As for an exciting outing with your honey, the payoff is more long term.

For new couples, I give this 3 “looks like she and that stranger are having more fun on this date than I am” out of 10.

For couples who have exhausted all of the “get to know you” conversations, I give this 7 “well at least I’m not stepping on her feet” out of 10.

Julie’s Review:
I wouldn’t say it was a “hot” date because it involved half of a middle school, but it was adventurous. Zane and I compared notes and agreed it’d be a great way for our single friends to meet new people. Like speed dating, but less sitting down. You have to be pretty secure in your relationship to just part ways and go off dancing with a bunch of strangers for an afternoon, but it is nice to meet new people.

It gave me a little bit of that new relationship butterfly tummy when I’d catch a glimpse of my cute guy across the room intently trying to get the steps right. Also, dancing together as adults is an exciting activity, one less often enjoyed except at weddings or boisterous clubs. So having an afternoon of light conversation while waltzing across a room was pretty neat.

I really enjoyed the change of pace and as we walked back to the train with our tired wobbly legs I couldn’t help but smile and softly whisper “1…2… cha cha cha” with each stride. (8.5 out of 10)