It’s like Russian Roulette with Penises

Just this last week Julie and I played host for one of our dear friends, the purported “reason we’re together” Jameson. While he had planned to stop by a few weeks prior, his flight was canceled due to an impending snowstorm, and seeing that he lives states away in Arkansas he is very much at the mercy of such natural factors. This time however he made the harrowing journey by car in what would be a 20+ hour ride. Are we really that worth visiting you ask? Yes, yes we are.

The weekend turned week visit was very enjoyable. With visits to old friends, good food and copious amounts of Video Gaming and Movie Watching there were many good times to be had. There was one evening in particular in which our fun loving threesome welcomed a fourth, all thanks to our dearest friend “The Internet.”

I’m assuming many of you have heard of Chat Roulette. If not, it is as the title suggests, much “like Russian Roulette with Penises.” No, there is no violence involved, and while our application of it did involve a revolver it was not in the way I’m sure many of you are so unintentionally imagining. The basic principle is that you have three windows, your typical instant messaging chat box, a window showing what is being captured through your web cam, and a venerable “window to the world” which displays the feed form random other people’s web cams. At the top, as simple button that states “Start Playing” or “pull the trigger” as it would more appropriately be titled.

You are then linked with someone, anyone, anywhere in the world. Whether they are young, aged or gross you are free to interact with them however you please. While most often people use this freedom to display their “happiness” towards this newfound technology, others were simply like us; some bored fun-loving drunk just looking for some good, plutonic connectivity.

Fortunately having Julie in our motley crew afforded us a few extra seconds with these strangers to pitch our plea for attention, given that most of the people on the other end are 17-29 year old males who want nothing more than to chat up fine honeys.

While communication seemed limited to pantomiming and cryptic instant messaging we decided the goal for the evening should be to play a full game of Clue with a stranger. With our board set we scoured the seedy bed/computer rooms of fellow chatroulettians, looking for someone to humor us. After countless rejections and erections we finally found a young lady who seemed all but mildly interested in playing with us.

All was going surprisingly well. We would show her her cards and when it was her turn to roll, we would place the camera to where she could make an informed decision about which direction to head. For a moment I thought I had it figured out. I did not have any of the cards involved in my first guess and no one had any cards to show me, so naturally I thought I had gotten a hole in one. That would not be the case however since Jameson was accidentally looking at the cards of our roulette friend.

With the hand hiccup behind us we went on to play a fairly standard game of Clue. Everyone knew what he or she was doing and having a voiceless competitor somewhere out there in the world worked out just as it would if she were ther. That is until her connection cut out.

Just like that she was gone. We knew nothing about her, no way to contact her and no way to know how close she may have been to getting to winning it all. Like ships passing in the night we met up for about 90% of a board game then moved on, never to hear from one another again.

The Jingle Monster

Howdy blog followers!

So much has happened since our last post! We've bought a car, opened up a restaurant and sold our souls to the Devil. Just kidding!

We have been home, like always. Except we've spiced things up at home quite a bit. We decided to take in a homeless child. He's pretty scrawny but we try not to tease him too much. He had a tough start in life, we found out some jerky kids pushed him into the train tracks before his foster mom rescued him from certain death. Since then he lived in a house with other foster boys and girls, but they were so needy. He needed a home of his own. So we took him in. So far he's done okay adjusting.

He doesn't play as much as we expected him to. We bought him all sorts of toys to take his mind off his old foster siblings being so far away in Brooklyn. Potty training has been interesting. I heard when kids have it rough they often mess their pants in order to show a sense of control over something. Well, our little buddy sure is testing us! But never fear, even new Dad Z is handling bodily fluids with the grace I'd always hoped of him.

He sure can be sweet, still too scared to sleep on his own, so we let him snuggle up between us at night. But boy do kids get up early!!! I hope the scampering doesn't wake the neighbors! We've found that if you just lock him into a room he lets all his crazies out... that's in one of those parenting books, right?

Most recently we've had two major incidents occur. We decided to make our new little guy a eunich. His voice was pretty sweet and youthful, but a little castration was all it took to get him singing all those high notes! Zane has signed him up for the local choir so he can get closer to Jesus. (Happy Easter by the way!)

Secondly, a nighttime goblin has begun to terrorize our little boy. I appreciate the fantastical imagination of a youngster, it shows great promise for an artistic future. But this creature is bordering on insanity. What has been happening is at bathtime in the evenings, the "Jingle Monster" comes round and harasses our poor guy until he can't take it anymore. He tries to locate the pesky noise but inevitably fails. If you stay real still you can evade his monstrous grasp, but the second you are lulled into a false sense of safety.... BAM! "jingle jingle"

So far our adoptive son has decided to lick the noise to death. He has its whereabouts pinpointed down to a small range of space just below his chin. Imagine if you will someone egging someone on "I bet you can't lick your elbow!" And you're all like "Yeah huh I could so!" and then you leave it at that but when you get home that night you totally get in front of a mirror and stretch your tongue until it hurts seeing how close exactly you CAN get to it. Yeah, that awkwardness. That is the only way to fight the Jingle Monster. Video forthcoming if Zane can handle his situation with the Technology Monster. It swings by and gives him the ability to capture moments on his phone and then... BAM! Memories get trapped on his phone never to be shared again.

So, that's all from the homefront. We're considering renaming the blog to reflect this great moment in our lives of growing our family. Hers & His & His? Duck, Duck, Kitty? Thoughts?

Oh yeah, our son is a kitty cat. April Fools! (I know it wasn't funny, but still, he's like a child.) Okay, now's your chance to "Awww" at how cute he is!!!