Welcome Back Kotter

Hey hey blog fans! Or, should I say “fan”. On behalf of my writing partner and myself, I wish to convey a heartfelt “woops!” on the fact that we have seemingly fallen off the face of the Earth. LOTS has been happening since the new year started (and even before!) and like an anxious tween, “like, OMG we have SO much to like tell you!”

Firstly, we are still together. Rumors have been running rampant that much like Conan and NBC, Hers and His creators have gone their separate ways. No, we are like Conan and Andy Richter, though uncomfortable to look at and slightly vomit inducing, we will always remain together.

No, we didn’t get engaged/married/elope/adopt a baby/puppy/kitten/homeless man. Though some of those things are on the agenda for this year, we’ll keep you guessing by not revealing which!

Are we still living with that middle aged man who takes recreational steroids and enjoys VERY loud intimate times with his many many revolving man lovers? Nah. I, for one, am elated that we have moved but Zane is finding it hard to sleep without the lulling sounds of men “high fiving” in the background.

Yes, it’s true, we are the proud renters of a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment literally a block from out old digs in Astoria. We are also only a block away from the street corner Zane and I met on that fateful July day 2 years ago. I enjoy this proximately purely for the times I can drag Z there by the ear and remind him of how great our story is and not to F it up now after all the moving we’ve endured together. He’s in it for the long haul. Whether he wants it or not.

Speaking of bars and long hauls, one recent development was with Zane’s favorite neighborhood bar where he so lovingly watched his pals the Jets (not sure if you’re familiar with them. They are a motley crew of newbies to the land of football who seem to have hit some streak of fortune after their quarterback had the revelation to start throwing it to the players who have the SAME outfit on as him. Revolutionary.) Anywho… this bar around the corner… we walked past it last night and all the doors were closed, lights off and gates down and one of those infamous yellow signs was plastered on the front door. Closed by the NYC Health Department. Ewwwww. Luckily neither of us ever consumed anything there but the smell of locals and the feeling of hope for the J-E-T-S.

As for the rest of our time, both Z and I have been busy working and being regular people for the first time ever. I have been at my new job almost a whole month and am loving it. Working for a Jewish food distributor has its perks, lots of free kosher food in our fridge!!! I am also starting to incorporate a little Yiddish into my everyday dialect. Mostly, I am shvitzing most about my short Fridays, as we are required to leave by sunset to observe the honoring of the Sabbath. Why Black Sabbath is so popular in Israel I have yet to figure out, but I’ve decided to not ask questions and just shout “rock on!” Friday afternoons as I depart.

So, that’s what’s been new with us. We are slowly emerging from our gopher hole-esque existence and welcoming friends back into our lives. While we may not have been writing to you, dear fans, not a day has passed where one of us didn’t say “aww crap, we should probably write on the blog.” Aww, that’s love.

Up next: Julie learns to stop referring to her coworker’s yarmulkes as “teeny beanies”!

Hustling Our Fans For a Little Charity

So, we don't do this often, ask something of our readers besides your undivided attention and a hearty chuckle on occasion. But, in the rare instance that it is important, such as Bud Light Lime becoming an unofficial sponsor, or a dear friend raising money to support his late brother, we make a little blog room to spread the message of love and support.

A little back story...

I met Brian in college, we were 2 of only 4 in our year with the same major and worked alongside each other all through our 4 years. We were friendly competitors who both enjoyed hard work and the pride of a job well done. When I needed a place to stay when I first moved to New York City (even before I met the "His" to my "Hers"!) Brian was the one to offer me a roof over my head for 3 whole months till I got my feet on the ground. In that time, he lost his brother to a very long battle of respiratory illness. When most would hole themselves up and feel pity for themselves, Brian refused to slow down. He turned his loss into a gain for all in need. Only a month after losing his brother he participated in his first "Hustle Up the Hancock" and hasn't stopped since. I am very proud of him for carrying on the memory of Eric and I asked him to write a little something for our fans in hopes that if you wanted to contribute to a good cause this year, you'd chose this one.

Dear fans of Hers and His,

My good friend Julie has given me the opportunity to write this short message to all of you in hopes that I can continue raising money for a cause that means the world to me. The Hustle Up the Hancock is a climb up 95 flights of stairs for the Chicago Respiratory Health Association. This is my third year doing it and I have been doing it ever since my brother passed away 2 years ago. He was 26 at the time and had climbed the Hancock building for 3 years after receiving a double lung transplant from that. There are more details on my donation page and I truly hope that everyone can look into their hearts and wallets, and help donate as much as you can. Thank you so much for your help and of course, thank you for being awesome since you are a fan of Hers and His. The link is here: http://my.imisfriendraising.com/personalPage.aspx?SID=35119

Thank you,

Brian

Livin' Lavida Sano

With 2009 securely in the past and our 2010 Astorian future looking bright, we've taken some time to get acclimated with our new digs. Our first order of business was to remove a large Armoire lent to our apartment's previous inhabitant by the landlord to make up for the lack of a closet in the master bedroom. You read correctly, "master" as in "superior to..." implying "more than one" signifying "we have a two bedroom apartment!". While gloating is hardly my style, nor is it very gentlemanly, one cannot amass the excitement that Julie and I share for this place without the proper embellishment.

Now before you start packing your luggage for a visit we should warn you that we don't really have anything to put in that room yet. Instinctively, I consider it as some sort of "office" implying that I have a work ethic large enough to encompass a room's worth of stuff. Julie, on the other hand has used the space for her own secret agenda by referring to it as "the baby room" whenever possible. Why she considers my football and automated coin machine as babies is beyond me. Women... you can live with them, you can even enjoy it part of the time, but they'll be talking about babies a lot.

When figuring out what to do with this large clumsy piece of furniture we thought it was only right to lend a hand to our landlord by offering to bring it downstairs for him. How "downstairs" became "anyone's apartment who wanted it" I have no idea but far be it from me to deny help to our new prospective pals. We were informed by the landlord that our neighbors next door may like the piece of furniture for their apartment. As Manhattan chefs working on opposite schedules we had a bit of difficulty finding them home, so with a note attached we left it in on their front step like some unwanted child. While they ultimately turned down our offer, it provided a good, albeit inconvenient ice breaker (given that it took up 80% of the hallway). My only hope is that they do not look down their noses at us for our Bertolli dinner parties.

On our friendly paper towel note was a proposition by a neighbor one floor up that if the gentlemen did not want the piece that she would gladly take it. Being the friendly neighborhood movers as we are, we knocked on her door and asked if we could bring the hulking semi-mobile closet to her.

What followed would be a half-hour of "how the hell did he get it up the stairs in the first place". When all seemed for naught the idea arose to remove the doors to lighten the load. Once that was accomplished it was smooth sailing. Well as smooth as carrying a 100+ pound piece of furniture up a narrow stairway.

The experience may have been taxing on our arms, still weary from the New Year's Eve move but it was all worth it in the end. We met the locals and netted an invitation to a post-holiday party (although we probably will not be able to attend being that it's on the same day as plans to party it up with Big Bad "Old Uncle" Blaine, but still).

However, the best experience since the move came last night at the sports bar down the street. Without TV I was fearful that I would not be able to watch my beloved Jets fight for a playoff birth against the Cincinnati Bengals. As I watched the Jets play in top form surrounded by half-interested bar goers and a chill winter breeze sneaking through the front door I knew that Queens, New York is the only place to be.

Astoria: So Nice We Moved There Twice!

Happy New Year loyal readers! As promised we are starting off the new year in front of the keyboard to recant our latest tales of laughter, love, and loquaciousness for you, our dear lovelies. What better way to mark the new year than from the office of our brand new apartment!

Just one block from the apartment where this blog was conceived not 11 months ago, we are just now making ourselves at home in what should be the first place Julie and myself can really make "home", since we are NOT moving again any time soon. Sure I may be cheating. I did write this post yesterday knowing full well that we most likely won't have Internet for a few days, but worry not, I will be back to proof-read this eventually.

Having not had any decent New Years Eve plans this year we decided to move instead. With the assistance of veteran movers (my parents) and the new addition of my cousin Big Bad "Old Uncle" Blaine we braved the elements and changed locations in a flash... I'm assuming. I cannot help but shed one tear for the sublet we just left. Sure it was creepy and offensive, but it was also eye opening (elaboration to come in future posts... whether you're prepared for it or not I shall leave to your discretion) needless to say, we're very grateful to have a place all to ourselves again.

We here are Hers and His wish you all a Happy New Year! Good luck losing weight, quitting smoking, loving your family a little more, and succeeding in whatever other resolutions you may have thought up for yourselves!

Merry 2010!